


Say Everything

by Poptarts3005



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Canon LGBTQ Female Character of Color, Canon Lesbian Character of Color, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Fluff, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, Multi, Nobody is Dead, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-07-18 02:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7296193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poptarts3005/pseuds/Poptarts3005
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hearts are comprised of bountiful amounts of love and compassion, who says that it has to be confined to one being?<br/>~<br/>One of the most beautiful and most meaningful people in my life HEAVILY assisted in edits of Say Everything.<br/>-love you bae</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Worst Didn't Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The peaceful protest takes a hectic turn......will everyone come out alive? 
> 
> or.....
> 
> Brook saves Poussey :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -If you've watched all of Season 4 of OITNB, my condolences :(  
> -MAJOR SPOILER AHEAD....well kind of....well yeah  
> -I recommend watching the entire season before reading any new fanfics (ESPECIALLY THIS ONE)

Shouts filled the tense and rebellious atmosphere of the room. Accompanied by the heavy and loud steps of boots as officers ran to pull bodies from atop tables. Brook attempted to fight off the guard, her small stature proving unsuitable for victory. Her movements were frantic as she fought to break away from the tight grip of the CO's arms. Invested in a kicking fit, her vision spun. Her eyes landing on the table Poussey and Suzanne had once stood. Overwhelmed with worry, Brook searched about the crowd as she's carried farther away.  

A gap formed as the crowd encircling the commotion began to curve.  

Her view of the kitchen entrance floor enhanced. Heart stopping when she saw Poussey's tiny body beneath Bayley's knee. 

'She's so small....he can't hear....oh my god....No!' 

Brook kicked as hard as her strength could allow. Her leg thrashing backward hitting the CO in his groin with her boot. His tight and rigid grip loosened as the air rushed from his lungs. Brook breaking away to run towards Poussey. 

Her tears were violent as she pried through the thick crowd. 

"Please! I need to get through! She'll die!", Brook screamed struggling to wade through heavier and thicker bodies. Finally finding her way to the entryway of the kitchen. 

Poussey lied there, wedged between the floor and Bayley's knee. Pleading through strained chokes for air. She looked up into the terrified eyes of her girlfriend. The fear within her own weary orbs melting into love. 

Brook came to the innate realization that she wasn't in a position to enjoy the luxury of hesitation. Poussey's survival unlikely if she remained frozen. She lunged at Bayley, utilizing her entire weight to propel him from atop the love of her life. 

Humphrey fell back, hitting the metal bars near the trash bins. A look of confusion and remorse occupying his young and boyish features. 

Brook collapsed to the ground, scooping Poussey into her arms. Her gasps were erratic. Lungs anxious and deprived hands clawing through her chest to grasp for air. 

She sent a silent prayer to every god in religious existence, even though she had always doubted them. For every ragged breath that Poussey took, she gave thanks to whoever was smiling down on the pair of them. 

Inmates crowded around them, questions and comments sounding from all directions of the cafeteria. 

Brook stared into Poussey's eyes as she did the same, her grip on the other woman never loosening. "Say anything, please."   

Despite the intense burn in her lungs, Poussey reached up and wiped a tear from Brook's face. "Jesus you have a thing for that movie." She breathed, giving Brook a wet, but warm, smile. 

Brook smiled, more tears sprouting from her eyes, "It's a classic." 

"I know a lot about those.", The overwhelming trauma no match for her charm. 

Brook peppered kisses all over Poussey's face, her grip becoming tighter with passion. Then Poussey groaned in pain, and Brook scrambled move to make her more comfortable. 

"Oh my god, I'm so _so_ sorry." 

"It's ok," Poussey smiled, her eyes shimmering as they met Brook's. 

The sounds of wheels neared them, causing the crowd to diverge. Brook was quick to doubt Poussey’s well being in the hands of the medics. Recoiling, hugging her closer. 

Poussey interlocked their hands, squeezing in reassurance. "Baby, I have to go, this fucking hurts." She winced from the sharp pain of her lungs cracking. 

"But...." 

"I'll come back to you, I always will."  

The look on Poussey's face said enough. Brook leaned forward, allowing the medics to steal her away. Brook arose from the floor, staring after Poussey as she rolled farther and farther away. She was deaf with grief, as Taystee, Janae, Cindy ran up to her. They all turned and looked on as medics wheeled Poussey away, their hearts heavy with relief. 


	2. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The closest people to Poussey in Litchfield's entirety, Brook and Taystee, and how they deal with her near death experience.

The order came for prisoners to return to the confines of their bunks. Brook faced the wall, in deep thought. She could feel it, the dark and terrifying storm beginning its assault on her brain. 

_'She's alive, she's ok, she's going to come back, stop it, stop feeling bad.'_  

A mantra she repeated, trying to starve off the storm. No, not a storm-a hurricane, a huge monster visible from shore and about to hit land. 

But people are powerless against nature, and she was powerless against this. Tears rained down from her eyes, mimicking the storm inside. The emptiness started taking over, leaving her hollow and lonely. Still, part of her knew this was only the eye of the hurricane. 

~ 

The lights flickered off, but she could still hear the low rumble of outrage at the day's events. Taystee was still awake, staring at the bottom of the metal bedpost above her. She had given up on attempting to sleep an hour ago. Her racing thoughts manifested into a force of nature unto themselves. 

'If Brook hadn't seen her....hadn't saved her....then...' Tears formed in Taystee's eyes. She couldn't handle how close she had been to losing Poussey. She couldn't even handle the fact that she wasn't on the other side of the wall parallel to her. The knowledge was a runner’s starting gun to her thoughts. And once they took off... 

The earlier events of the day didn't help her budding romantic feelings for Poussey. Her feelings that crushed her every time she saw Poussey and Brook together. She felt so rejected, beat up by her pride, despite the fact that Poussey had no idea and she meant to keep it that way. 

'When she comes back, she'll come back to her girlfriend and me, her best friend, and that's _all_.' A mantra of her own, with equal success as Brook's. 

The doubt crept through. Taystee turned over, eyes shutting tight as she bit into her lip, _'But can I accept that?'_  

 


	3. Poussey Isn't Po Boy

"You know....she hasn't been in here for the past week." Taystee looked up at Janae and that's when it finally dawned on her.  

_'It's just been a week? It's felt so much longer....'_  

"Yo, you good?" She bristled a tad; the voice intruding on her thoughts wasn't the one she longed to her. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" Her voice came out too harsh and she watched as her friend recoiled from her. Part of her cried out, but she had buried that part when Poussey had left. That was the part that felt pain. 

"I mean...I expect you not to, with...you know." Janae was hesitant, unusual for her, but Taystee wasn't exactly acting as usual either. 

"So why did you ask?" Too harsh again. She should feel grateful that she had friends who cared. And she was, in that deep, hidden part inside.  

But the cold, outer shell was apathetic to Janae sighing and dismissing the conversation. 

A minute later, Cindy and Suzanne took their seats. Suzanne was still damaged from her fight with Maureen, and her paralyzing guilt over Poussey's injuries made matters even worse. 

"Am I the only one who's noticed that China ain't been no where near this cafeteria in days?" Cindy asked as she and Suzanne sat down.   

"Since when do you two give a fuck about Brook?" The harsh apathy was in control. In control of her racing thoughts, in control of her. A deal with the devil, but the devil was better than being alone. 

"We get you're overwhelmed with worry and shit, but you're being a twat." Cindy spooned rice into her mouth as she spoke. Taystee knew she was right, but it was only deep inside. Her protective shell wasn't cracked. It _was_ starting to feel more like a prison as the devil launched verbal attacks she couldn't control. 

Janae nodded in agreement. "P is our girl too. She….Brook saved her. It would feel wrong to stand by and let something happen."  

"The library." Suzanne muttered, looking down into her lap as if her jumpsuit held the key to Poussey's recovery. Her voice was hardly audible, so tentative it could be mistaken for the ramblings of a mad woman.   

Maybe mad speaks to mad, because the restrictive shell cracked. A glimmer of the light inside fought through. Taystee tilted her head in confusion, "What?"  

"The library, I saw her go in there," she said clearer than before. The thoughts mobbed the light, beat it down. Pain refilled Taystee. She took in a long breath, standing from the table and repairing her outer crust.  

"Look out for Suzanne." They nodded.  "I'm fuckin' serious," Taystee stated firmly as she began to walk away from them. 

"Ok, damn!" Cindy shouted behind her. 

~  

Looking around the library,  she didn't see Brook. She walked further inside, turning her head to the door leading outside and noticing that the lock was up. That could mean anything, she told herself. Still, she followed the sound of moving plastic with a heavy certainty within her gut. "I know you're out here."  

"No, I'm not," came the slurred response, punctuated with a burp. 

Taystee walked around the bush, looking down and frowning. "Drunk as fuck and you haven't been eating. Genius decisions." This time the harshness, against Taystee's desire , screamed it belonged. That Brook deserved her disdain, deserved everything but Poussey. 

"I thought she had thrown them all out, luckily she didn't." Brook let out a drunken giggle and took another swig.  

Taystee grimaced, _‘Fuckin’ lightweight’._  

She was plastered despite the bag being halfway full. 

"Give me this." Taystee grabbed the bag, snatching it away, sitting down next to her.  

Brook's arms reached for the bag, further demonstrating the extremity of her intoxication as she missed it entirely."No! I want to finish it before Leanne and the other meth face come looking for it," Brook detested, pouting. 

Taystee looked down at the tan liquid in the zip lock bag. The stress within her took over as she tipped the bag towards her mouth her sense of apathy decreasing with every swallow. 

"No fair! She was my girlfriend." Somehow, that shattered it. She felt the crushing feeling deep inside and her racing thoughts freed themselves. Pain returned. 

"Don't talk about her in past tense! She's alive and she's coming back." The one thing they could focus on without pain, a rock above the flood waters in their minds.  

"I need her. I love her so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. What if she doesn't come back?" The words pushed Taystee off the rock and she fell back into the abyss of apathy. 

"Haven't y’all only been together a couple of months?"  

Harsh called out to harsh and Brook responded, "Love doesn't have a time limit, asshole." Somehow, that shocked back to the pain of reality.  

"Anyway, I miss P too and I know it's scary because you can't be by her side but she's ok. And no matter how good it feels to swallow this slop, you can't let it destroy you, like it almost did to her."  

"But....Po Boy."  

"What?" Brook must have drunk more than she thought, she was talking nonsense. 

"Po Boy, he made po boys." More nonsense. Poussey was gonna kill her. 

"Ok, you ain't gettin' this shit back."  

"No! Everyone was running from the cops and they tipped over the po boy truck and it fell on Po Boy."  Taystee remained silent, devouring more of the hooch as she listened to Brook's recollection. "He almost died, but they lifted the truck in time and he didn't."  

"She was pinned down by a 200 pound idiot, not a 2 ton truck." The grief clearly afflicted Brook's senses more than the liquor; Taystee could see this had tormented her for long, cold nights. 

"I know that! But....He was fine for days but then... he went to sleep and died. His track--tract hadn't healed before he left the--the hospital and he just stopped breathing." Brook's story snatched Taystee's heart from her chest.   

_'Please don't loose hope. She's fine....She's fine.....she's going to come back to me.'_  

"Brook." Brook didn't turn to look at her, instead rubbing her boot into the dirt, sobbing.  

"Brook! Look at me damn it!" Taystee commanded with anger fueled by heartbreak. She grabbed Brook's chin and forced her head to face her.  

Tears cascaded from her eyes, "What?!"  

"Poussey isn't Po Boy, ok?" Taystee calmed her voice, hoping Brook would receive the words better. Brook didn't say anything, sniffling and sobbing, lying her head on Taystee's shoulder. "Repeat after me. Poussey isn't Po Boy."  

Brook sniffed, wiping her face with the sleeve of her jacket. "Pou-ussey i-ssn't P-o Boy."  

Taystee wrapped her arms around the devastated girl, "Remember that, ok?"  

Brook nodded, relaxing into the hug. 


	4. You Came Back To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness showers over those close to Poussey upon her return.

Poussey stared at the ceiling. The bright fluorescent lighting had no effect over her clouded, distant eyes. She hadn't slept in days, didn't possess any desire to. The few times she had involuntarily dozed off into slumber, she dreamed of Brook and their future together. It would be nice, if some unnatural darkness hadn't stormed over her imagined happiness. In one dream, they broke up; in another, Brook had fallen in love with someone else and left her. In the most painful, she watched herself die, then watched Brook fall into a deep depression and take her life. No one there to save her from the grasps of death, leaving her to die alone and heartbroken. That dream polluted her sleep, her thoughts... It repeated in a demon's chorus and played behind her lids. 

The door opened, the sound yanking Poussey from her thoughts. Caputo stood in the doorway, his tired eyes averting her gaze. Looking at the floor was preferable to seeing that beacon of pain and misery. 

He had no idea what to say, since he had never conversed with Poussey, never had a reason to do so. "I came to um...inform you that you are being discharged back to the prison later on today." 

Relief washed over Poussey in strong and bountiful waves, "Thank you, sir." 

"Please, don't-don't call me that." 

Poussey swallowed, her posture straightening. 

"You've never been in my office," he said with slight astonishment. 

"No, I have not." She vaguely wondered if his statement was prompted by racism or a firm belief in the infallibility in his guards' instincts.  

"I'm trying to piece this together. You've never caused any trouble, but yet..." 

"I was almost suffocated by an officer during a peaceful protest." 

"The other guards are telling me that you had a weapon, that Bayley restrained you due to you posing as a threat." 

"Bullshit." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I had a weapon? I was posing as a threat?" 

"He--" 

"Is an untrained toddler who almost killed me! I didn't have a weapon, I wasn't posing as a threat, you sent an untrained guard into a prison and he almost killed me!" 

Caputo didn't say anything; he just stared down at the floor. He knew all too well that she was right. 

"I don't mean to defend him, but he didn't mean to hurt you. Bayley and Piscatella have been suspended until further notice." 

"Further notice? You know....we thought that you were different, that you cared, but it's so clear that you don't." 

"Someone will be in here later on today to do a final check up and then you will be escorted back." 

Poussey scoffed, turning over and facing away from him. She heard quiet footsteps retreating, having no knowledge of the almost unbearable amount of self-disappointment that consumed him. 

~ 

"P!", Taystee shouted at the top of her lungs as Poussey walked into B-Dorm. 

Poussey halted her steps as Taystee ran to her, wrapping her in a tight hug. 

"I missed you too, T." 

"Please don’t ever leave again." 

Poussey smiled, her heart nearly suffocating from the warmth, "I won't, I promise." 

"You know....we missed your string bean ass too," Cindy stated in a dry tone. 

Taystee rolled her eyes, holding her body to hers a few seconds more before releasing her. 

Poussey laughed, walking into the arms of Cindy and Janae. 

She almost felt complete but then she remembered, "Brook, where is she?" 

Taystee dedicated all her strength to hiding her look of disappointment. 

"Her bunk, most likely, she sleeps a lot now.", Janae told her, stepping back; Cindy doing the same. 

Poussey nodded, her dreams echoing as worry consumed her. Fear mounted as she wondered how hard Brook had fallen since she had been gone. 

"I'll see ya'll at dinner." And then she was gone, ears going deaf to their replies. 

~ 

Poussey entered Brook's bunk, smiling down at her sleeping form. She laid in the spot next to her, pressing a kiss to her neck, stroking her hair.  

Brook shifted closer to her, a smile creeping across her features.  

"P...that tickles.", Brook mumbled in her sleep, giggling.  

"This?" she asked before pressed another kiss to her neck, moving her hand to the hem of Brook's shirt and sliding her hand under to tickle her flat stomach.  

She jumped, her eyes tearing open as she laughed. Excitement brightening her face as she turned over to see Poussey lying there, in the flesh.  

"You're here, you're really here."  

"I told you I would come back to you."  

Brook's eyes watered as she encircled her arms around Poussey, hugging her tight.  

Poussey smiled, hugging her back, "Baby, it's ok."  

Brook pulled back, now crying full on tears, shaking her head, "It almost got bad again." Her voice was barely above a whisper, full of devastation.  

"B--"  

"I didn't want it to, I couldn't stop thinking about how close I was to losing you forever."  

"I am never going to leave you, I can't live without my heart, can I?"  

Brook smiled, leaning in and kissing Poussey. 

Poussey pulled back, licking her lips, "I missed you."  

"I missed you more."  

"You were in all my dreams."  

"You are my dreams."  

"I'm so in love you." Poussey dragged her fingers through her hair, looking into her eyes with a deep and loving intensity. 

"I'm so in love with you too."


	5. There is Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fast forward to a few weeks later......

It felt as if the next few weeks had passed by at an abnormally high speed. Poussey spent most of her days with Brook, only seeing Taystee, Cindy, Janae and Suzanne in the hallways or during meals. Suzanne was sitting alone in television room when Poussey passed by; she had felt awful for not spending a lot of time with her since she had been back. "Hey Suzanne."

She turned around, her eyes widening when she saw that the owner of the voice had been Poussey, she grasped at her twists, whispering, "Bad,bad,bad,bad..."

Poussey rushed over, carefully and gently wrapping her hands around Suzanne's wrists. "Hey, it's ok. It wasn't your fault, I'm fine."

Suzanne shook her head. "No...no but you could've not been fine, and it would've been my fault-my fault."

"You can't feel bad for not being able to control yourself sometimes, it's not always your fault. I'm fine, I'm ok. I was never mad at you."

Suzanne hugged Poussey, tightly, "I missed you." Poussey smiled, hugging her back just as tight, "I missed you, too."

After a moment or two they broke away, Poussey pulling out the chair next to her and sitting down. "What are you watching?"

Suzanne smiled, excitement building, "Cartoons. It's usually always crowded whenever they come on, but not today."

Poussey pulled her feet up from the floor, wrapping her arms around them. "I haven't watched a cartoon in forever. Run me through this one?"

Suzanne grinned, nodding.

~

Taystee focused on being a good assistant, despite the fact that her feelings towards Caputo were everything but positive. She needed something to focus on other than Poussey. She felt incomplete, not as much as she did when Poussey was away, but it was close. Poussey had been back for weeks, but she had hardly spent any time with her. She found it ironic how they were both imprisoned, but it felt like they were worlds apart. Poussey had preoccupied herself with building her relationship with Brook. So she hadn't paid much attention to anyone else. Taystee spent day after day, filing, typing, asking repeatedly if there was anything for her to do. She needed to avoid her romantic thoughts of Poussey, but it proved almost impossible.

_'She's with someone else. She loves someone else, not the way she loves you.'_ A new, reasonable mantra for her to chant in an attempt to entrap her racing thoughts.

Her thoughts struck with the strength of lightning as she struggled to complete the small amount of work assigned to her.

_'But she did, at one point, but I was too fucking stupid to love her back.'_

_~_

Brook felt as if she was on a cloud, a cloud in the brightest skies of sapphire, bathing in the golden rays of a truly vibrant sun. Her light, her love had returned, and she was adamant on never losing her again.

Brook's smile beamed as she walked up to Taystee's cube, knocking on the smooth brick to catch her attention. "Hey! Can we talk for a sec?"

_ 'What the hell for?' _

"Sure. What's up?"

Brook was about to sit on the bottom bed of the bunk opposite of Taystee's, but opted for the chair. "I want to thank you, for being there, I was heading down a pretty dark path and you stopped me and I'm grateful."

Taystee smiled, "You don't have to thank me, I was just doing what anyone else would do for one of their own."

Brook's heart almost leapt from her chest, "Thank you for that. I really feel unwanted sometimes, but Poussey always reminds me that it doesn't matter, because she wants me there and that's what's really important."

Taystee chuckled, silently reflecting on Poussey’s endearing ability of always knowing what to say for the betterment of someone’s feelings.

"Well I'm pretty sure Watson is cool with you now, you are the reason that P's alive. I mean… she bitches significantly less."

"Yeah...I kept thinking that in some way I would've been the reason she died, I had gotten mad at her for saying that a protest would've done nothing, that my efforts would've been meaningless. What if she had gotten on that table just because of what I said?"

Taystee frowned at her. "Ok one, don't blame yourself for something that didn't happen and wouldn't have been your fault if it had. Two, she is back, she is alive and breathing, focus on the positive not the negative."

Brook sniffed, nodding, "Ok, thank you."

Taystee nodded, squeezing her shoulder in reassurance.

Brook stood, beginning to walk away but turned and hugged Taystee instead. "I see why you and her are such good friends, you're amazing."

Taystee hugged back, "So are you."

_ Brook pulled away, waving before leaving. _


	6. Celebration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm loosing my creativity when it comes to chapter titles and summaries.  
> 

It was 25 minutes to 8 when Brook found Poussey in the library. Her steps quit as she tiptoed to where Poussey stood turned around, placing her hands over her eyes.    
Poussey giggled, "What is this?"    
Brook kissed her neck, whispering into her ear, "A surprise."    
Poussey's eyebrows arched in wonder, "What kind of surprise?"    
"You'll see, come on.", Brook urged as she began to guide Poussey out of the library.    
~  

They were almost to recreational room when Poussey's curiosity reached capacity. "Brook what the hell? Where are you taking me?"    
Brook grinned, nodding at Cindy and Janae to open the doors, "You trust me, right?"    
"Of course but I would still like to know where I'm-". Brook removed her hands, revealing their destination.   
"Surprise!", Everyone in the room yelled, causing Poussey to smile in confusion.    
"On what?"    
"Not dying!", Suzanne shouts with excitement before shes nudged by Taystee's elbow.   
Poussey turned to her side to look at Brook who merely shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much."    
"Thank you?"    
Red walks up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Expression meaningful and sincere as she looks into Poussey's eyes. 

"We did this because your bountiful kindness has touched us all in some manner. We are beyond happy that you're still here with us."    
Poussey wills away the urge to cry, her smile growing goofier instead, "Thanks, Red."    
Boo moved with stealth as she snuck over to the makeshift speaker and pressed the play button. Red lit with annoyance, storms over to Boo, "You fickle fuck! I was having a moment!"   

Brook took her hand in hers, leaning into her, "Do you like it?"  

"Love it. I haven't had a party since before my mom's passed."  

Poussey allows Brook to guide her into the middle of the rec room. Encircling Poussey's neck with her arms. "There's music and people present to fact check this information." 

Her grin is sad and slow at first. Becoming brighter as the distance between them decreases. Her arms wrapping around Brook's waist, "She would've loved you." 

Brook chuckles, leaning until their foreheads softly touch, "I would've loved her too. She had to have been a great woman if she raised you." 

"Yeah but leave it to me to become a felon." 

Poussey mentioning her mother was rare. It was clear to Brook that her feelings following the demise of her mother weren't resolved. 

"I bet she's proud. You're in this awful place but you haven't lost who you are. You've remained the wonderful woman she raised you to be." 

"I just never got to say I'm sorry. I never got to tell her how much I loved her. She was just gone and it's all my fault." 

Removing her hand from Poussey's shoulder, she places it on her chest. 

"She's here. She'll always be here and she'll always know. She knew then." 

"I love you." Poussey's grin exuded adoration and a certain peacefulness ignited by a fulfilling sense of closure she was unable to achieve before.

"I love you too."

 


	7. What Was Foreign Isn't So Foreign Anymore

Taystee's heart overflowed with pain. Her cold and hard gaze at the dancing couple could slice through glass on it's first attempt. Her internal feelings floating to the surface for her fellow inmates to see.  

Nicky appeared out of nowhere. Leaning against the brick wall in a spot next to her, following her gaze to the pair. "My god. That's just fucked, ok? She's like...tied the prison knot with the biracial chatterbox."  

Taystee turned her head to face her, revealing a deep frown, "The fuck are you talking about?"  

Nicky rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Word of advice, let her go. Let whatever you feel for her go, Tom Hanks, Cast Away, let her go, or at least try. At the end of the day, she's found someone else. Yeah she loved you once, wanted you once, but -sighs- she's gone and you're just gonna have to deal."  

Taystee swore she felt her heart cracking into two broken and useless pieces. Lorna was in the middle of the room, dancing with the others when she turned and motioned for Nicky to join. The wild-haired woman didn't wait for a reply from Taystee before standing up from the wall. Walking over to the petite woman.  

Taystee just stood there. The sounds around her becoming distorted, only the awful cracking audible.  

~  

Brook and Poussey cuddled together atop the thin mattress of Brook's bed. Laying in peaceful and harmonious silence.  

Poussey stroked Brook's pin straight hair, pressing random kisses to her forehead. "The board called me into a meeting earlier today."  

Brook's head tilted to look Poussey in the eyes with curiosity, "What for?"  

Poussey took a deep breath, not wanting to jinx it but not wanting to keep it from Brook either, "Good behavior. I might get out within the next month."  

Brook's eyes widened in excitement. a grin stretching across her face as she leaned in to press a kiss to Poussey's lips, "That's great! Congratulations!"  

Poussey smiled, the expression fading  as she traced Brook's eyebrow with her thumb. "Yeah but...you still have a year left."  

Sadness crept into Brook's once elated features, "That doesn't matter. You're getting out of here, that's all I want."  

"I'm going to wait for you. I don't care how long. Remember that, ok? That if I do get out and whenever you get down that I'm going to be there, I'm never going to leave you."  

Brook nodded, pulling Poussey into a tight hug. "Because you can't live without your heart."  

Poussey blinked a tear from her eye, hugging Brook back just as tight, "No, no I can't." 

 


	8. Unwanted Confessions

It doesn't take long for Taystee to crack under the emotional impact of her broken heart. Avoiding the girls, or in bare and inescapable honesty, avoiding Poussey.    
 

She had tried to brush off her feelings. _'She's my best friend, a huge piece of the only family I have left in this entire existence and she almost died, I'm not in love with her.....I just missed her.' S_ he was fine until, inevitably, she wasn't.  

~  

Poussey wandered about the hallways, searching of Taystee. Finally entering the library to find her sitting against the last bookcase of the room.     
 

"Yo! Been looking for you!" Poussey happily announced as she plopped down into the spot next to Taystee.     
 

"You've found me." Her voice drenched with negativity. Despite the flightiness she felt from within at the sight of Poussey.     
 

"Are you okay?", Poussey reached out. Her delicate hand resting atop Taystee's, resulting in the vibration of her being.    
 

Taystee's eyes widened. Snatching her hand away from their contact, scooting away from her, "Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"     
 

"You haven't acted like this since...when you were mad at me. Have I done something?", The confusion and hurt in Poussey's eyes made Taystee shrink.     
 

"No..I'm just tired, y'know? Anyway..what's up? Why were you looking for me?"     
 

Poussey frowned, her disbelief obvious, "Um...I might get out soon."     
 

Taystee's heart dropped but soared at the same time, "Are you fucking serious? I will kick your scrawny legged ass if you're fucking with me."     
 

"Nah man, I'm serious as shit. Met with the board and everything." A grin spread across her oval shaped face, beaming from her friend's excitement.     
 

Taystee reached out, wrapping her arms around her tiny body. "You're getting out of this shithole!"     
 

Poussey hugged back, "I'm gonna miss you man."     
 

Taystee felt the cracking once more, swallowing as she held her close, "I'm gonna miss you too, P."    
 

Poussey's expression grew cryptic as they pulled away. Taystee loosing all the strength to withhold her tears.    
 

"T...it's not like you won't ever see me again, sisters for life remember?" Her voice was filled with sadness but she tried her best to sound encouraging.    
 

"But that's all, right?" The question slips through Taystee's lips before she is able to stop herself. Eyes widening as the sentence ends.    
 

Poussey knows exactly what she means. It takes a second but she knows, and it feels as if a truck smashes into her. Mind completely blank of any idea on how to handle the situation.    
 

The women sit there in an uncomfortable silence. The burning within their hearts permeating the atmosphere surrounding them. Both of them understood right then and there that their relationship would never be the same.    
 

"Say something." Taystee plead. Below a whisper but loud enough for Poussey to understand.    
 

"Wha-what do you want me to say?" Standing and departing crosses Poussey's mind. Her loyalty and love for Taystee prevents her from doing so. Not allowing cowardice to appear at the surface.   
 

"I don't know but don't sit there and not say anything at all.", Taystee stares at the floor below them.    
 

"Taystee...I love her. I'm in love with her.... what do you even expect me to do with this?"    
 

"Fuck you." Taystee spat as anger piles within bursting through it's size without coordination.    
 

"Fuck me?", Bewilderment and infuriation consumes her tone.    
 

"Yeah. Fuck you.", She repeats, stronger than before.    
 

"Taystee-", She feels it, in the pit of her stomach, the sphere of fury building and accumulating.    
 

" 'This' is my feelings, not an unwanted fucking sweater." Her voice breaks as she explains.    
 

"You said no!"    
 

"We've been through this"   
 

"I don't like girls."   
 

"I just don't feel that way about you."   
 

"Did you not say that shit ?!"   
 

 Taystee flinches at her outburst, remorse consuming her. "Yes, and it was a mistake."  

 "This is so fucking selfish!" Poussey wonders if her words are legitimate succumbing to the anger within her.    
 

"I know and I'm sorry.", Poussey stood, Taystee doing the same.    
 

"Bullshit! I've found someone else, someone who loves me, someone I want to spend my life with and you pull this shit?". The way she speaks conveys how inconceivable their current circumstances appear to her.    
 

"You were in love with me at one time, is it just....gone now?"    
 

Poussey doesn't answer. She hates herself for not knowing. Taystee grasps her arm pulling her in close pressing her lips against hers. When she doesn't pull away, the self hatred can't even being to compare.  


	9. Gravitate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edits were done to Chapters(1-8)  
> -Mostly Grammar  
> -A part from Chapter 6 was deleted  
> -A character reaction and emotional description was somewhat drastically modified  
> *edits weren't so major that the direction of fanfic all together was revised. feel free to re-read though, this is my second fanfiction ever and without the edits the grammar in most chapters was really choppy.  
> :)  
> 2 more chapters to go !

 

They kissed and kissed so indulged that they don't pull away for minutes on end. Ire and sorrow piles within the core of Poussey's being as images of Brook flash before her eyes. Low and revolting the simmer of betrayal rips her from her trance. Rips her from Taystee.  

Taystee reaches out for Poussey's hand. Her damp, small digits reflexing from her touch. The distance between the women becomes non-existent, result of Poussey's rushed departure. Leaving Taystee in the middle of the aisle alone and penitent.  

~

_'It was nothing. I felt nothing.'_

This mantra in all it's obvious dishonesty, echoed within Poussey's brain. Her breathing grew fitful as she paced the walkway of her bunk. Begging for the intense sensation on her lips to dissolve.   

She lies down, tears building against the lids of her eyes. Hot droplets trailing down her cheek. An hour later she's drifted off to sleep. Stirring when a pair of arms wrap around her. Immediately she relaxes into the intimacy, the guilt within her increasing.  

"You missed lunch. I got worried."

Poussey doesn't reply with an explanation. Reveling in Brook's touch.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

Her voice trembles, as she reaches out for Brook's hand. Afraid that she would no longer own the feeling of their connection.

"What's going on?" Her voice is soft and attentive as she struggles to mask her confusion.

She cuddles deeper into Brook's warmth as tears begin to build once again.

"I-I- fuck. I'm so sorry baby."

"Whatever it is, we'll get through it together. Ok?" Brook's sense of determination lingers within her words.

"Not this. You're going to leave me over this."

"I'm never going to leave you. Just breathe and relax. If you're not ready to talk now we'll just talk when you are."

Poussey nods. Nuzzling into the softness of Brook's chest.

Spontaneous and against Poussey's desire, the sensation returns. Kissing Taystee was the definition of intensity. The chemistry ignited from their union threatening to set the world afire. Her feelings proved difficult to fathom. She looked forward to a future with Brook. Who she adored and harbored a constant ache for something as simple as her touch. The disappointment and pain lingering in their surroundings was bearable with Brook.

Poussey was unable to shake the passion she and Taystee shared. The manner in which Taystee held her was so much deeper than it's appearance on the surface. Conveying that no matter what lie Poussey would attempt to force herself to believe. There was something between them and it was inescapable.

She could no longer force herself to choke on a lie. The mantra faded into silence.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She swore through sobs. Peering into the soft and beautiful darkness of Brook's eyes. She discovered nothing but unconditional admiration mirrored by her own. Coming to a realization.

She loved them both. She needed them both. 


	10. Meant

"You're supposed to make choices that'll make you happy. I don't want you to deprive yourself of anything because you're scared of how it will effect me."

Poussey tells Brook the next day as they were sitting against the iron fence of the yard. Wrapped in the radiant rays of the sun. She spent the majority of the night before lying awake in the dark. She could still feel Taystee's body pressed against hers. Their lips interlocked in a fiery connection. Her heart bound to burst from within the confines of her rib cage. The speed of the beats overwhelming and quick. 

"You have so much love in here that you don't know what to do with it."

Brook's hand rests against her chest. Her eyes boring into her own with love and warmth.

"I'm yours. I always will be. I want you to remember that."

"It's hard to not remember something you've always known."

In no time at all, their lips find one another.

-

It doesn't resonate until she's wedged between the saccharine of Taystee's weight and a bookcase.

"I love you."

Their fingers interlocked, lips a mere inches from each other. Respective hearts suffocating beneath the passion radiating from within their beings.

"I never stopped loving you."

Taystee grins, lifting their entangled fingers into the air.

"This is so much more than it was before. I don't understand it yet but I don't have to. You're home. I never want to not feel this."

Poussey leans into Taystee. Foreheads touching, the tips of their noses brushing in brief contact.

"We're meant."

 

 


	11. Destined

It was awkward at first but it subsides. They found that their mutual love for Poussey inspired a union between that soared past the limits of friendship. It was never thought, for not even a second, that three was a crowd. They learn to respect and embrace this new fraction of their lives. It was awkward, it was a challenge but they unearth and bestow copious amounts of love.

-

A month later and a day where Brook doesn't ache for Poussey failed to exist let alone go by. It was hard for Taystee to adjust to life without Poussey present. She spent the first month shedding tears while lying her head in the comfort of Brook's lap. There were constant visits. Along with letters and phone calls. The strength of desire was overbearing but they had each other and that was more than enough.

-

Brook leans in. Capturing her lips soft and slow, the grip on one another's hands tightening. Taystee sighs, the tension between them dissolving as her lips begin to move.    

 

Minutes pass before they pull away. Individual gazes locked on each other. Brook reached out, tracing the lining of Taystee's lower lip with her thumb.   

 

She leans against the bookcase. Placing a hand on Brook's thigh, rubbing with affection.   

 

"I don't want you to think I did that only because I miss her."   

 

Brook confesses, her palm cupping the swell Taystee's cheek.   

 

"I don't. Do you want to know what I'm thinking?"   

 

Taystee leans into the cool and inviting space surrounding her, smiling when Brook nods.   

 

"That you should do it again."   

 

It feels right as their lips collide.  

 

_-1 year later-_

Light beams through a window of the room. Taystee stirs as it strikes through the lids of her eyes. The smoothness of Poussey's legs intoxicating as she shifts closer in their intertwinement. Brook's fingers brushing against hers as she tightens her arm around Poussey's waist. Lips curling into a loving smile as she watches the smaller women sleep.  

She's here and she doesn't wish to be anywhere else. They...this was her destiny.


End file.
